Rough n' Rich
by Marthluvr4evah
Summary: Zelda and Marth are foreign exchange students enrolled in Bullworth Academy. Between drama, heartbreak, lust, love n' loss, will these newcomers find their true place? With other newbies, slight gore and sexual content. You've been warned! R&R please :D
1. There's A Place For U In Hell

_Author's note: HEEEEEEEEEY GUUURLLLZZZZ!!!!!!!!!! This isn't a Jimmy or Eunice bashing story. Marth and Zelda have very high standards, and aren't used to being surrounded by people that aren't extremely gorgeous._

_---  
_

Chapter 1

'There's a Place For U In Hell'

---

A soft autumn wind blew through the front gate of Bullworth Academy as Marth and Zelda pulled up with their limo and got out with their luggage.

"What is this, Hogwarts?" The blond princess inquired jokingly, her nose up in a proud nature. Zelda sighed. Why did Daddy have to send her here? She scoffed and turned to face her blue haired nanny, the seventeen year old Prince Marth, who was chuckling. Marth, a close friend of Zelda, was hired by her over protective father to look out for her during her stay in Bullworth. Basically, he counted as her nanny.

"Cheer up Z." Marth laughed. "This place doesn't look so bad."

Zelda scoffed. "But why? I'm a princess! I don't deserve this."

Marth exhaled. "Well I'm a prince, and you don't see moi complaining!"

With no more objections, the two royals entered the grounds of Bullworth.

---

Zelda had just settled into her room in the girls dorm. It was the ugliest thing she had ever seen -- not the room, her roomate, Eunice. She wondered vaguely what Marth was up to. She wondered if he was all right and fitting in with HIS roomate....

---

Marth ascended the stairs of the boys dorm, eager to get this part of his inevitable journey through hell over with. He was disgusted by his surroundings -- everywhere FAT people and rats roaming freely through the halls. He stared at the sheet in front of him that had been given to him by the homely secretary. Jimmy Hopkins was to be his roommate. Who? He walked into his room, and there, sprawled across the bed was this mountain boar in his tightie whities with his unsightly carbon based overweight life form taking a leisurely nap. He was short and stout, with a really bad hair cut and a muscular physique, but he was somehow fat at the same time. His face was flushed, as if he was constantly blushing. He had frecklez, everywhere. It was....

The beast stirred.

Marth flinched at the creature. He took in the room's surroundings while the animal fell back into its hibernation state. There were posters of girls and leftover pizza boxes and used napkins and tampons and beaten up jackets and thongs and many other unsightly belongings. There was a fuming machine with green smoke chemically smoking in the corner. Marth was not prepared. Marth didn't expect a castle, but he didn't expect this repulsive dump either. Maybe it was just the roommate that was soaking up all the ugly in the school. Marth picked up a textbook and threw it at the troll sleeping on the bed. It's pig ugly face awoke and grimaced at the graceful prince.

"What the hell are you doing in my room?" The beast spat, and Marth shuddered at the sound of its voice.

"Apparently I live here... I pray that the office got mixed up. You're Jimmy Hopkinz?" Marth responded nonchalantly.

"That's _no _way to talk to you're king!" It got up and shoved Marth.

"King? _You're_ my _king_?" Marth didn't like the politics in this school. Surely this ugly prick that reeked of BO couldn't be HIS King?

"That's right, I conquered this school 4 months ago. And you're no exception. What in god's name are you wearing? Is that a CAPE?" The creature mocked him.

This beast that was wearing tightie wighties was questioning Marth about his fashion sense? Marth was wearing a very nice cape that totally matched his tiara. He had a nice suit on that sucked his soft supple skin like a lollipop (Marth was a Lil Wayne fan). He had a baton that he used when he strut around, because it gave him an aura of authority that no one would question. The beast grabbed his baton and snapped it in half.

Marth nearly had a heart attack.

"_WHO_ DO YOU THINK YOU_ ARE_?!?!?!?" This repulsive beast chuckled away, and retorted;

"This is my school, and no pretty boy with an expensive tiara is gonna mess with me." With that, the beast snatched the paper the secretary had given Marth and skimmed it briefly with his foul goo encrusted eyes. He discarded it to the floor where cockroaches mauled it. Marth was appalled. The beast -- it went by 'Jimmy' -- picked up Marth's luggage and tossed it into a couple of scraps of metal with a (it looked like a large white pancake?) with a scrawny, ripped white sheet thrown over top.

"That's a handy luggage holder..." Marth supposed it would have to do until his arrived from Hyrule.

The beast stared at him with its gaping mouth slightly parted.

"What? _Luggage_ holder? That's you're _bed_, hotshot. There's your bed frame, your mattress, and your sheet. Happy Birthday, sweetheart."

With that, the beast left the room chuckling, and Marth felt his heart explode.

---

By now Zelda was half way through with her unpacking and during that time EUNICE, her supposed 'roomie', was trying to strike up a convo.

"So... Where are you from again?" It asked, finally allowing Zelda to snap. She turned and faced the foul looking 'girl' with a scowl.

"You _don't _know where I'm from?" She snapped. Euinice flinched.

"Um no, sorry I missed that." The freckled fat girl stammered nervously. Zelda rolled her blue orbs and stuck up her nose.

"Hyrule." She replied simply.

"Where?"

"Hyrule."

"Is that in Europe or somethin'?"

Zelda was exasperated. "No, its in Australia." She said sarcastically. "Its in Hyrule dammit!"

Poor Eunice was so confused, but Zelda ignored her. She was unattractive, probably poor, _and _stupid. Naturally, the princess took a disliking towards her. People of Zelda's importance and class do not need to look at people like this, yet alone share a _room_ with them. But in a place like this, where beasts lined the halls with their ugly mugs, Zelda couldn't be complain.

Though it went against nature not to.

---

Marth awoke to the beasts loud snoring. It rolled and thrashed on its bed, drool spluttering all over its pillow, which was on the floor. Marth tiredly admired his range of fire. Some mist that evaporated off the steamy wet spit clouded around the ceiling of the room and practically rained on Marth. He tried not to concentrate on the disgusting sticky goop dripping on his perfectly chiseled and lean body as he glared at the beast that others called their 'king'. Finally, taking enough of all the crap that was literally being sprayed all over him he picked up his belongings and moved to the couch in the lobby.

The couches were beat up with the springs popping out with ripped seams and stuffing. Not exactly Marth worthy but it would have to do for the night. It was 10 times better sleeping with that snoring loaf of meat and fat. Eventually Marth fell into gentle slumber and he sniffed in disapproval as he smelled something suspiciously like body odor, rotten eggs, and every other horrendous smell that Marth could think of. Pretty much what the beast smelled like.

---

The night before, Zelda had gotten just about as much sleep as Marth. She discovered around one o'clock am that Eunice snored.

Loudly.

She'd managed to barely sleep two hours.

She woke up without her usual beauty sleep, which she wasn't used to. Ignoring that, she quickly readied herself for her first class at Bullworth, Home Ec. The teacher was a tall, large black woman who's name was Ms. Okosun and at first glance Zelda could tell that the teacher was a down right scary homo sapien. She sat with Eunice who was unfortunately following behind her and put on her apron as the teacher started her class.

"We're baking Christmas cookies today, iz dat cleah?" Ms. Okosun shouted in her Nigerian accent. "You will be in partners for rest of year, iz dat cleah?"

No, it was not clear.

"I will assign the partners, iz dat cleah? You be wit whoever I put you wit, no objection! Iz dat cleah?" She targeted a scrawny black kid. "Iz dat _cleah!?" _She spat in his face.

"C-Crystal!" The boy exclaimed in his high pitched voice. Zelda sighed and rolled her eyes. Why was everyone in this school so weird?

"Dats what I tot!" Okosun paced back and fourth the front of the classroom. "Anyway, I put you in partner. You complain? You get out!" She pulled out a sheet of paper, her beady little eyes scanning it. She began to list names... Zelda only prayed that she wouldn't get with Eunice. She intently listened for her name, and when it was called, she discovered that she was paired with some dumb loser named Bif. Zelda wanted to complain, but she also didn't want to fail grade eleven Home Ec...

She waited for some ugly, stupid, fat social reject to walk over, but was shocked when she saw a tall, red haired guy who looked just like Edward Cullen. Zelda gasped.

"Edward?" She asked in disbelief, her mouth agape.

He looked at her oddly. "What?" He asked. "Uh, no, I'm Bif, but for you, I can be anyone you want me to be" he wiggled his perfect brows suggestively.

He had perfect crystalline skin that sparkled in the sunlight. His beautiful bronze hair was messy from his long walk over to her. He had a perfect masculine jaw, with a glorious gaze that caught Zelda's heart.

There was a difference between Edward and Bif, however. First of all, Bif wasn't a fictional vampire, but that's beside the point. Bif's eyes were blazing a pure emerald green. Edward's were golden brown.

Bif was Zelda's dream boy. She'd had this fantasy illusion of the perfect man ever since she read twilight (TEAM EDWARD!), which was her fave book series. And Bif was looking at Zelda with the same interested curiosity.

"Okay, 'just like Edward'," Zelda joked, dubbing him with this new nickname, 'sit down and we'll start this home ec. project. Maybe it will involve a little chemistry" she winked at him from her left eye, and Bif eagerly sat down beside her.

"I like the sound of th-" Okosun loomed maliciously over Bif.

"Chemistry? You stoopid? This homm ek! You no talkin till you lurn leesin!!!!!!!!!" Zelda half expected her to swallow Bif whole. Okosun's anger flared like a blanket in the wind.

Zelda and Bif flirted throughout the class without talking. They caught each others eye and smiled. They 'accidentally' bumped hands every once in a while. They exchanged numbers in the flour. It was fun and exciting and flirtatious. Zelda felt as if she were floating in a bubble of pure serenity.

Then that fat hog Eunice tapped on her shoulder, and Zelda fell from her beautiful heaven into the deepest pit of hell. Zelda turned around abruptly in a sour mood.

"_What_!!" she snapped.

"Uuuuuh, that Marth guy, yaww, he's you friend right?" Eunice horked.

"Yes, what about him?!" Zelda rolled her eyes.

"God, stop being such a fucking bitch. AAAAAAAAanywaaay, news travels fast here. I'm supposed to pass on to you that Marth has been busted by one of the prefects."

"What? _What? Marth? On his first day? _What_ for_?_"_

_---  
_

_CLIFFHANGER!!!_

---


	2. Acknowledging The Beaast

Chapter 2

'Acknowledging... The Beaast'

---

Zelda rushed out of home ec, without saying goodbye to her new interest Bif. She was too worried about Marth to even tell Okosun where she was going...

She sped into the office, where she quickly spotted Marth sitting on the couch, waiting to be harassed by the principle. Zelda shook her head in disappointment.

"Marth what's going on?" She asked, slightly distressed. The navy haired prince's eyes flashed to Z, and he sighed.

"People here are so retarded." He said simply. "I just ordered in some room service from the men in the blue suits, but apparently they aren't here to serve me!" He scoffed in annoyance. "Like, if they're not walking around to serve me, when why the hell are they even walking around?"

Zelda shrugged. "Not sure. I assumed that those guys were there to serve the higher class people, such as ourselves..."

"Hm. Apparently not."

She sighed. "This is just way too much for me to handle. I better return to class..."

"Well wish me luck hun."

Z nodded and exited, returning to her class. Thankfully for her, when she returned that fat bitch Okosun hadn't noticed she'd left. The classroom was eerily silent...

She went and returned to her spot beside Edward-- Bif, and exhaled.

"Uh, whats wrong?" Bif asked with uncertainty, wondering why Zelda had just left like that.

"Oh, nothing." She replied through a sigh. "This school is just totally wack..."

He nodded. "Tell me something I don't know."

"You!" Okosun's sickly voice went shooting through the air, piercing the classes ears. "You shut up or you get detention, iz dat cleah?"

Both Bif and Zelda nodded, frightened.

The class soon ended. Bif and Zelda got yelled at (literally) by Okosun for burning the cookies, but it wasn't that hard to deal with.

"So... There's a party at Harrington House tonight." Bif casually mentioned as him and Zelda exited the Home Ec room. She looked to him with interest.

"Oh?" She'd never been to Harrington House, but it sounded like a damn classy place.

He looked nervous. "Wanna come?"

She smiled and nodded. "Sure, sounds fun. Mind if I bring a friend?"

Bif laughed. "Is he rich?"

Zelda chuckled and smiled, "Mhm, you bet he iz."

"Well, any rich friend of yours is a rich friend of mine." Bif winked and flashed a charming Rich Prep smile.

"See you tonight then!" Zelda merrily skipped back to her dorm, leaving Edw-- Bif wanting more.

---

"Uhhh, I think the blue one looks better," Eunice suggested hopefully to Zelda.

"Shut up you fat whore. Don't you even try to give _me _fashion tips. The pink one is obviously more flattering with my skin tone."

Eunice looked at her uncomprehendingly.

"What the _hell?" _Eunice slurred at Zelda.

Zelda's hands flew to her hips.

"You poor piece of shit! Don't talk to me like that! Don't you know who I am?" Zelda walked up to Eunice and slapped her across the face.

Eunice trucked away screaming. Zelda laughed after her.

---

Bif showed up at the dorm right on cue.

"Hey Ed--! Er, I mean Bif." Zelda blushed. "Sorry, but you look sooooo much like Edward Cullen!"

"You look ravishing this evening, Zelda," Bif's eyes roved over her appreciatively. "Everyone at the party will be jealous."

---

Bif opened the door to Harrington House and they stepped inside. They entered the foyer and Bif insulted the slave tending to the guest book. Zelda filled with pride. Then they entered the party room.

"I'd like to introduce you to my fellow elites -- in other words, my bffz!"

Zelda put on a friendly face.

"That's Tad. He's really hot. His dad abuses him, but don't tell him I told you that." He winked. Zelda said hello to the boy. He was of normal height, and he was very hot. He had brown hair and brown eyes, with a weird combover thing that made him look mysterious. Zelda liked him.

"Hey, Gord! This is Gord! He's a bad boy. This is Zelda, my date for this evening." Zelda almost dropped dead when she saw this boy. He was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay hotter than Bif, and Zelda wished she were here with him instead. Gord kinda gave her a dirty look. This urked Zelda. Did he think she was...

_Ugly_???

Gord stalked away, martini in hand.

"Uh, okay...and this is Chad, Parker, Bryce, but I don't really care about him. There's Justin, Pinky. You know, the works...and oh! There's MY personal best friend, Derby!" Bif steered her over to a very handsome young man. He was a blue eyed blonde babe, a real hottie wit a body, and he was totes gorge.

"Hello, Zelda. Bif's been saying some nice things about you."

"Has he?"

"Oh yes, you seem like quite the catch. Nice, respectful, wise......"

"Oh Edwa--Bif! That's so sweet."

The partay was off the chain! (proud family lol). There were drinkz galore. Everyone was totes drunk and people were smoking and doing weed (especially this badboi named earnest) and other suspicious things. Zelda was so wasted she couldn't see or hear within a 2 metre radius. Bif was hilarious too. Everyone was having such a blast at the awesome blowout! Zelda felt like such a studmuffin because she was pretty much the only girl there. And she was waaaaaay hotter than Pinky. Bif was abo--

There was a shouting outside the door. Zelda's vision strained. A huge brown oval burst threw the door. It continued shouting.

"Whishanisaho yuhdsjk?" Is what Z heard. "Iz dat cleah?"

Oh, shit.

Okosun.

Everyone ran away screaming, upstairs Harrington House. They knew that Okosun was too morbidly obese to actually truck up the stairs. On the upper level, the party continued. Marth made his way through the crowd to Zelda, a little tipsyy, but not drunk enough to not be annoyed. He wanted to leave.

"Hey Z, can we go?" He asked hopefully.

Z didn't reply, she merely walked back into the crowd. Marth got the message.

Zelda stumbled ova to Gord and smiled. "Did it hurt?" She asked, batting her eyelashes. Gord raised an eyebrow.

"Did what hurt?" He queried, unaware that he'd fallen for the trap.

"When you fell from heaven!" She burst into laughter. Good god she was funny.

Gord scoffed and rolled his eyes. He knew that women loved him, but this girl was just out of da question. iluu justin bieber

Zelda then left to find Bif again, since she'd lost him earlier. He was... Just like Edward.

"Oh hay." Bif greeted, as he beached naked on the couch, blanket draped over his lower body. Across from him was Derby, drawing a picture with his charcoal pencil. Where have we seen that before?

"Hey bb." Z greeted, slouching beside Bif's feet. "Waddup?"

"n2m, just gettin' Derbz to draw a picture of me naked. No big. Hbu?"

"Nothin... Just bein a kid, havin a good "

"Sounds like fuuun." Bif smiled at her alluringly. "Want another drink?"

"O' COurse!" Z said flirtily, tossing a luscious, layered waterfall of golden locks behind her back.

"SLAVE!" Bif bellowed. He sounded so manly when he bellowed at slaves. A small little man came running. He looked terrified.

"Fetch my girl a drink!" My girl? I guess we're official!

"What would you like, my lady?" The slave was polite.

"Shut yer trap and go get me some rum!"

The slave scurried away.

"Here you are, Miss Z." The slave had sweat beading on its forhead. Ew.

Z knocked the rum out of his hand. It shattered in slow-mo with little shards of glass scattering all over the floor(kinda lyk dat scene in da new mooon trailer when bela'z blood falls... Intense) . The rum splashed out of the slave's hand and landed on Derby's charchol picture of Bif. The picture wrinkled and soiled. The charchol ran down the paper. The rum washed it away. The picture ripped and slashed as the rum tore it apart.

"You took WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too long!!" Zelda walked up to the slave and spat at his feet. The slave was trembling. Bif wrapped the towel around his lower half and bounced off the couch. He was seething with anger. Derby looked shocked. Hours of hard work, thrown into reckless ruin in a pile of rum on the floor...

"Now go get me a martini, you good for nothing piece of poor jobless looooooseeeeeeer!" The slave ran away flailing its arms in panicked dismay.

It came back secinds later with Z's martini. She gulped it in one slug then threw the glass at the slave. It shattered in its face.

"Clean it up."

The slave quickly and sloppily cleaned up Z's mess. She laughed at him mercilessly. Bif Put his arm around her shoulders and guffawed with her. Derby stood up and slapped the slave.

"Get out of here!" The slave nearly passed out from the stress. It ran away.

"What is he _doing?" _Zelda asked Derbz. Derbz glared and walked away.

"Sorry you had to see that, Zelda. It's not your fault." Bif patted her back.

"I know. That slave was totally rude, oh my god."

"You're right baby. Let's blow this pop stand."

---

The next day in home ec, Oko was meaner than ever. She seethed when anyone breathed to loud. People who had to sneeze trembled with fear for their lives. The hands of all the students were shaking as they cautiously poured and stirred their ingredients. But Z's hand slipped.

Okosun's ears detected the slight change in Z's heart beat as she tried to cover up her mistake.

"ZELDA." Oko boomed.

The whole class withered back in their seats. Even Edwar--Bif. The eyes of the monster were black with hate, striking fear to the very bottom pit of Z's core. Oko advanced on Zelda, step by step. Her footsteps echoed on the tile floor, and each second that went by, Zelda saw a second of her life flash before her eyes. Then Oko was infront of her.

"ZELDA."

"Y-ye--"

"DON'T SPEAK!"

Zelda remained silent.

"YOU AT PARTY LAT NIT?"

Z didn't answer. The seconds ticked by.

Okosun exploded.

"WHY YOU NO ANSWER ME? YOU SAY YOU NO LIKE OKO? WHY YOU TAK OKO CLAS? YOU THINK OKO SOME KINDO JOK? YOU CRAZY BITCH! GETDAFAK OUTA YO SEAT!"

Zelda nearly collapsed. Her whole body was convulsing with fear as she stood up.

"You have detention, you Oko hating whore! Same wit yo stoopid bf ova thur." he motioned to Bif. "Detention!" She then sat on Bif, crushing every bone in his body. She decided to leave those two alone and go make Cornellious buy her food from the caf. She also sat on Thad, a scrawny nerd with a lisp.

---

Marth left the principal's office in sheer fury. That stupid poor turd had no power what so ever over Marth. He thought he was the hottest thing ever, and that he could do and say and punish Marth however he pleased. Now Marth had wasted half of his lunch period waiting in that pratt's office, just to be lectured about how Marth wasn't a prince here. Those stupid poor prefects shouldn't wear such slavey outfits that even _my _slaves back home would find hideously unattractive.

Marth had been let off with a 'warning'.

Marth was so infuriated and absorbed in himself that he hadn't realized that he walked into the cafeteria.

"Hey hey hey HEY!" Marth froze. "Look who it IS!" Marth would never forget that voice.

Marth could sense the drool in the air. Marth could feel the presence of mockery. Marth could smell the body odour.

Marth turned around slowly and reluctanly. _I hope it doesn't turn me to stone..._Marth thought.

The beast was hanging out with his posse at the nearest table. The beast itself was naturally repulsive. It had drool dripping through its ridiculously cruel smile, with the gaps and cracks through its teeth; the most infamous Earnest was beside the beast, with trademark glasses and nerd vest; Ted the jock was sitting beside the nerd king, laughing and flexing his muscles -- what Marth thought was most ironic about Ted was that he was actually a huge whimp. It was very easy to knock him out. Russell, the school's ultimate bad boy bully, was sitting opposite the beast at the table. I was surprised he wasn't being removed on a stretcher to critical condition. Johnny Vincent, a motorcycle guy, the ruler o' greasers was looking unkept and unimpressed. And--was that--Derby? That gorgeous boy I had met at the Harrington House party? THE Derby Harrington?? Friends with...the beast? The mountain boar? The monster? How could this glorious angel be..._friends..._with this...Jimmy Hopkins?

"Hello...._Jimmy..." _It was hard to refer to that life form as anything other than the beast.

"Come on, have a seat." Marth sheepishly took a seat at the table. He chose the farthest seat possible from the monster. Even as he sat down, he scooted his chair back a couple inches. Better safe than sorry.

Derby looked at Marth. "You're Marth, right?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"The new kid?" Johnny x Jealous inquired. Marth nodded, embarrassed. The nerdy kid chuckled. Marth wanted to punch him.

"Well, all new kids have to go through initiation. And" The Beast smiled, "you're no exception."

---

CLIFFHANGERR!!!!!1

---


	3. Revenge of Gord aka The Fallen

A/N: HEYYYY GURLLZ!!!! SO THANKS FOR THE 1 REVIEW!!! even tho we work SO HARD on dhiz, lyk i shat mai pants when isaw onli ONE revieww !!!!!!!1

REVIEW IT

Chapter 3

The Revenge of Gord a.k.a. The Fallen

---

"What?" Marth was confused beyond belief.

"Initiation?" The beast smiled. "You don't know, pretty boii?" The beast roared in laughter. An unattractive smile framed its warty, dry lips.

"No...should I know about this?" Marth was standing his ground. He stood in a defensive preteen slouch. He crossed his arms defiantly.

The clique leaders started laughing at Marth. Even the unfortunately named Earnest, who seems like people spend more time laughing at him then he ever gets to laugh at anyone else. He was no doubt enjoying Marth's cluelessness. A smile tugged at Marth's lips.

"So are you going to tell me?" Marth mocked. "What is initiation?"

The beast growled with pleasure. "It's someingth all the new kids have to do when they arrive at Bullworth Academy. To officially mark your place here."

"What? I don't need to mark my place _anywhere._ I'm an effing prince!"

Jimmy looked outraged. "You can not disobey me. I am your king, and you are my slave. And if you think you can just defy me like that, then you can go back to wherever the hell y--"

"Jimmy." Derby cut in. "Maybe Marth should just be a Prep. I mean, look at his EXPENSIVE clothes!" Derby admired Marth's cape. "No need for an unecessary sorting ceremony, when we already know his place."

Jimmy looked mad. "Whateva. You can hang around wit dis gurl whenevz u want 2." He words were slurred and text message like.

Marth nodded at Derby with thankfulness. He didn't have the time to be screwing around with nobodies like _Jimmy. _

Meanwhile, Zelda sat only tables away with Bif and his kool frandz. They were chattin' n' stuff, you kno, duh usual.

"Love those shoes, Zelly." Gord said with admiration. At first, he hadn't liked Z, but now he was seeing a different, more fashionable side.

"Thanx hun, luv urs too." Zelda replied with a smile. Derby then approached with Marth. "Hay Mar." Z greeted her friend.

"Heyya Z."

"People, this is Marth. He's a new membar." Derby sed. Every1 nodded. Gord eyed with interest. "Hey Zelda, super cute outtie." Dah blond's attention turned to Z. "I think you're possibly the best dressed at Bullworth!"

Gord's head snapped to Derby.

"I thought _I _was the best dressed, Derby?"

Derby looked down at Gord. "Not anymore."

Gord's world came crashing around him. The walls were spinning, his stomach was in loops... "This... Is this true?"

There was no reply.

"Say, why don't you two stop by Aquaberry today?" Derbz winked. "I manage the place, maybe I can offer you two a job."

Now Gord was angry. "Derby, you're willing to let these two _newbies _work at Aquaberry?"

Derby simply ignored Gord.

"That sounds cool." Zelda said, and Marth nodded in agreement.

"We'll check it ouut." Mrth felt overjoyed. He had just made friends who were actually worth looking at, not like his unfortuante roommate.

Gord. Was. Pissed.

"WAHT?" Gord exploded, "IT TOOK ME YEARS TO GET A JOB AT AQUA. AND YOU'RE OFFERING _THOSE _TWO A JOB THE SECOND DAY YOU'VE KNOWN THEM???!?!?!?!"

And once again, Derby ignored Gord.

---

Later that night, around 1 am. Harrigton House. Staircase infront of it. And, a fuming Gord completes the scene. Gord was staring into the night, willing himself not to think. His world had come tumbling down in one day. He wasn't the best dressed anymore. All because of some blonde elf bitch. Gord was planning. Planning planning planning. He was going crazy, insane. These two new kids, shown up mid sem, come from who knows where, were ruining his rep. They were already a step above him in the food chain. Something Gord had worked toward for years. He vowed right there, with his head in his hands and his heart pounding in his ears, that he would have his revenge. He would get to the bottom of this.

xo.

---

Zelda was ecstatic. She's been at this school for 1 week, and she'd already made her name. She was dating the Preppie second-in-command, Edward Cullen, she'd made friends with the preppie leader, Derby Harington, and thr prep girl Pinky was her new gurl bff. Only one thing was bringing her down...she still shared a room with Eunice.

"Hey, uh, Zelda? Where did you put my underwear?" The hog inquired.

"_What?_" Z replied.

"My underwear." It repeated.

"What the_ hell _do you think I'd be doing with your _underwear?_"

"Well, I was just asking- woah, wait!! There it is! What's my undies doing on your window?!?!" Eunice's face started to grow red and blotchy from embarassment and anger as she wobbled over to the window sill and saw countless people laughing and pointing towards her room.

"Oh, THAT!! I thought that was a pillow case. It was a make-do for a curtain since mine hasn't arrived yet. Normallyy I would use something more _grand, _but in this case it'll do."

"B-but, that's the only pair I have!!!" Eunice was close to tears now.

"HOly Shit!!! Then what are you _wearing _now?!?!"

"I...uhm...urgh...uhhh...I gotta go!" Eunice bolted out of the room, which was weird, because Eunice's run is about as fast as the average person's walk. She ran screaming from the girls dorm, and Zelda and many others watched laughing from the window.

---

Gord saw the whole thing. And Eunice was running in his direction. Oh god, Gord prayed, please let me speak to the _girl_ without puking...

"Hey, um, excuse me Miss... (Gord choked) Eunice?"

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" The Eunice girl looked around herself, confused, because her small beady eyes couldn't make out the GorgeousxGoddessXGord standing infront of her. So Gord tapped her on her shoulder. Lethal fumes seeped from the girl's shoulder where Gord's finger had made contact with her shirt, and he quickly pulled his finger away, which was incrusted in grime and wet body odour. Now he knew where the nerd's harvested their stink bombs from...

Gord inhaled the stench.

"oh.....Oh..._GOD...._" Gord's hand flew to his nose, and he wobbled on his feet. His vision blurred, and his nose faltered.

"Who are _you_?" Eunice asked, confused.

Gord was amazed.

"Of course you know who I am." Gord completely ignored the stench. He was too baffled to notice it anymore. "I'm only the _best dressed_ at Bullworth."

"No...that's Zelda."

Gord was infuriated.

"_WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"_

"I said no, that's Zelda."

"_THAT IS A LIE. I HAVE BEEN BEST DRESSED SINCE....since..._Derby Harrington himself!"

Eunice looked annoyed. "Who?"

"DERBY HARRINGTON!" Gord grabbed Eunice by the shoulders. "The leader of the PREPPIES!" He shook her hard. Eunice appeared to be deep in thought.

"OOOOh yeaah. That blonde guy." _That blonde guy?_ Didn't Eunice know what Derby _meant _to this school? Did she ever wonder where Harrington House came from?

"Yeah. And listen. As you can see by looking at my Aquaberry Sweater, I'm a prep too."

"Cool..."

"My name is Gord, since you're"_ obviously extremely stupid, _"...since you don't know."

"Okay."

_She doesn't even care why I'm talking to her, _Gord thought.

"Do you or do you not share a room with that Zelda girl?" Gord crossed his arms across his chest and looked Eunice right in the eye. This shouldn't be too hard...

"Yeah, I do."

"Do you like her?"

"No."

"Well, we share something in common. That bitch stole my title as best dressed in Bullworth, _apparently, _since I refuse to believe such nonsense. But I would like to set some people straight." Gord raised an eyebrow at the girl. "I saw what she did to you back there. You poor thing. That was so..._low..._"

"Yeah."

"Would you please help me get back at her?"

"Sure."

"But, please, do not tell anybody about this...us working together."_ It would mutilate my rep._ "...Because, um...I don't want people to...know that we hate Zelda..."

"M'kay."

"So here's what you're going to do..."

---

Zelda had just gotten bak from a marvelous date with Bif. They went shopping at Aquaberry, and Bif bought her a really nice smelling perfume. Then Bif paid for a supa sexcii haircut, so now she looked like even MORE of a glamgal.

"See you tomorrow in home ec, Zelda." Bif smiled at her.

"Yeah, you too." Zelda turned to face him. He stared in2 har supa gorge eyyeeezz 43vur.

AND THEY KIZZED LYK OMMGGG

Zelda skipped into her room, happy as ever. Even Eunice's face couldn't bring her down. In fact, when she saw Eunice she was going to give her a big, loving hug.

Zelda galloped into her room, and bounced on her bed. Eunice wasn't in here. Part of Zelda was glad, because she didn't have to do something she'd regret. Zelda layed on the bed in perfect bliss as she thought of Bif. Then she was tired, so she gracefully pranced over to her wardrobe to retrieve her pajamas. Her hand touched the doorknob. Her hand twisted it in slow motion, and clicked open. She slowly opened the door...

No.

_No._

_NO. FUCKING. WAY._

All of them...all of her clothes...all of her beautiful, silky, rare,_ expensive_ handmade clothes....all of the hours of hard work her slaves had endured, all of the compliments she had recieved, all of her dresses, capes, skirts, t-shirts, shorts, pants, _pajamas..._all of them....

Woven into one big, giant _curtain. _

_This evil couldn't be at the hands of Eunice. She wasn't this smart..._ But no one hated her. All of the preps loved her. They all worshipped her. Even the _greasers _liked her--how could they _not_, she was the hottest fucking thing in this _town. _People were _jealous, _but no one could have done this to her. Nobody has the guts. She was a saint. A-a GODDESS OH MY GOD! 4evz.

_WHO!? Who did this? WHO DID THIS???!_

Zelda _would _find out.

---

CLIFFY!!! xox

---


	4. Marth's BURNING Crusade!

Author's Note: Heeeeeey thar! Thanks for the reviews xox. This chapter is dedicated to our #1 fan, KirstyXD!!! Luv ya bb!! Well, we wouldn't exactly know if we had any OTHER fans, because NO ONE'S REVIEWING

Chapter 4 : Marth's Burning Crusade

Zelda rushed to Harrington House, face red with anger.

Who? who was the culprit of this HANOUS CRIME!?

She burtst through the doors, startling Birf && Derby who were beached on a couch enjoying an episode of Smart Guy..xo

"Zelfa whats wrong!?!?" Bif exclaimed, distressed 4 his

"Who did it." She demanded darkly. Edward and Derby were frightened. "WHO!? WHO WAS IT?" She rushed up to Derby, pokin' him in dah soulder. "WAS IT YOU!? DID YOU DO IT? ANSWER ME!" Zelda was totes going all Oko on Derbz's ass.

"NO!" Derb shouted. "I did nothing!`

"Zeld what happened?" Bif aked. "U dont need to shout at us!"

Z calmed down and sighed. "Sry guys but... Someone... Some evil, horrible peson has... defiled my clothing. EVERYTHING!!!! He/She tjurned all of my beatiful and exquisiteee clothing into a curtain!"

They gasped. "No!" Bif sed. "Say it aint so!"

"Tis tru..." z said solemnlii.

"Dont wori Z, we will help u find da culprit..." Derbi said. Zelda thankid them and went back to her room to investigate.

In dah room, Zelda looked at the curtain, examinin' itt. AND SHE SMELT SOMETHING...

A gross, oinion lyk scnet, putrid with stench...

Eunice.

"No..." Z said aloud. "Shes not this smart.. but why? How? WHEN?"

Z was angry.

no.

FURIOUS.

---

Mrth was beached on Jimmy's dirty old bed, playing a really kool video game clled NARUTO CLASH OF NINJA REVOLUTION. Du op du op lets make it happin SHAWDII.

"WHAT THE HELL!" He exclaimed. "I'M ON YOUR TEAM!!!!"

U see, mrth was on a team with... Orichimaruu. But, for some reason, he jkept on attacking martth!!

"STOP BETRAYING ME!!!!" In da game Merth was playing Jiraiya. Orich attacked him again! "I'M ON YOUR TEAM!!!!! STOp. BETRAYING. ME. STOP!!!!! I. WILL. FIND. YOU. AND. I. WILL. KILL. YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He was attacked again. "I WILL EAT YOUR FIRST BORN!!!! STOP BETRAYING MEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1"

The beast then entered the room. "What the hell are you doing?" He inquired. Mrt looked to Jimmy, rage flowing through his veins and steam pouring from his ears... Jimmy slowly backed out of the room.

Mrth continued his game. "WHAT THE HELL!!!!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!"

---

Z picked up the phone. SHe dailed Eunice's number... And she waz pissed.

"Hullo?" came the manly, lethargic and disturbing voicee of Eunnie.

"Listen up you fat cow," Z warned, "You come into my room... You TOUCH MY CLOTHES... You think yoh crazy!?.... I'LL SHOW YOU CRAZY!!!!"

She hung up. Zelda now had a plan...a plan to KILL EUNICE!

---

Eunice was scared. How could Zelda have found out?? She tried to leave no evidence...

"Gord...that was Zelda.."

Gord's head snapped to Eunice.

"What?"

"Zelda."

"Yeah, I heard that," Gord was worried. Not for Eunice of course, but for himself. "What did she say?" She couldn't know about their plan...could she?

Eunice repeated Zelda's words, even though she had to struggle to remember tem.

"YOU FAT IDIOT!" Gord raged, "How does she know it was you????!! MY REP WILL BE RUINED!!"

"I...I don't know!!!!!!!!!!!" Eunice looked dismayed. "Look, she didn't mention you."

"Oh. I don't care then. Bye." He left.

Eunice was baffled. Was Gord using her? No--no. That's just ridiculous. Gord would never do that...

But Eunice was hungry, and hunger took over. She needed her secret stash of chocolate from under the bed...

Eunice walked cautiously out of Harrington House. This just didn't feel right. She was pARAHnoid, yeaaah.

I make the most of all this stress  
I try to live without regrets  
But I'm about to break a sweat  
I'm freaking out

It's like a poison in my brain  
It's like a fog that blurs the sane  
It's like a vine you can't untangle  
I'm freaking out

Every time I turn around  
Something don't feel right

Just might be paranoid  
I'm avoiding the lines because they just might split  
Can someone stop the noise?  
I don't know what it is but I just don't fit

Consider me destroyed  
I don't how to act 'cause I lost my head  
I must be paranoid  
I never thought it would come to this  
I'm paranoid, yeah

I take the necessary steps  
To get some air into my chest  
Can't hear the thoughts inside my head  
I'm still freaking out

That's why my ex is still my ex  
I never trust a word she says  
I'm running all the background checks  
And she's freaking out

Every time I turn around  
Something's just not right

Just might be paranoid  
I'm avoiding the lines because they just might split  
Can someone stop the noise  
I don't know what it is but I just don't fit

Consider me destroyed  
I don't know how to act 'cause I lost my head  
I must be paranoid  
And I never thought it would come to this  
I'm paranoid

Stuck in a room of staring faces, yeah  
Caught in a nightmare, can't wake up  
If you hear my cry running through the streets  
I'm about to freak, come on rescue me

Just might be paranoid, yeah  
I'm avoiding the lines because they just might split  
Can someone stop the noise  
I don't know what it is but I just don't fit

Consider me destroyed  
I don't how to act 'cause I lost my head  
I must be paranoid  
I never thought it would come to this  
I'm paranoid

Eunice reached the Girls Dorm. She walked up the stairs and took a deep breath as she opened the doors.

The Dorm was eerily quiet. No girl was in sight. She couldn't hear anything. What's going on?

Then she heard laughter. Evil, manic cackling ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 1.

CLIFFFFFFFFFFYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. This Place Will B The Death o' U

Authaz note: Haay every1 thnx 4 dah reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This chap is jus a lil fightin' scene between Eunice and Zelda, hope u likeee.(L). Dedicatedd 2 garageheroin, natzyy2kai9 && kirsty XD fo reviewing!!! We'll add da other chap lata 2nite. luv u

Chappy fyve: This Place Will B The Death o' U

* * *

Eunice slowly ascended the stairs toward the laughing noise. She wondered who, or even _what_ was making dhat sound. She tried to tune her ears into even the slightest sounds to be cautious, but all sounds were muffled by the excess fat drooping over her earlobes. It was so hard being her.

Eunice walked up the final steps and saw light coming from the dorm supervisor's room, the largest room in the dorm. The door was opened only a crack, so the small sliver of light streamed across the floor and cast disturbing shadows throughout the hallway. Eunice sucked in a breath, and the cackling stopped. Eunice's body was seizing with convulsions.

Just then, the door slowly creaked open.

Eunice walked over to it, still trembling with fear. She just needed to take a couple more steps til she reached her room, where the comforting waves of her secret stash of chocolate would wash over her and calm her down. Just a few more steps--

The door was now completely open, and Eunice could see the dark silhouette of a girl staring at her--but it wasn't the dorm advisor. Curiosity took over Eunice, and she obliviously gravitated toward her like a mosquito to a bug light. Eunice actually forgot about her chocolate.

The girl was perfectly poised against the light, so perfectly chizzled that she could have played a vampire in twilight. But Eunice couldn't see her face. The shadows were too dark.

Eunice was now inches away from the girl. Eunice wondered how something could be so mysterious.

Then the girl slapped her across the face.

Eunice was in shock.

"Are you ready to meet your maker?!" Zelda demanded.

"I-"

"Don't talk. Now you **_DIE!_**."

Zelda pounced from her nest like a cougar after its prey, claws of sharp, manicured nails flailing aimlessly after Eunice's face. She scratched at her face, and Eunice punched her. Eunice sent Zelda flying, but Zelda quickly recovered. She bounced off the wall and jumped at Eunice, grabbing a handful of her greasy brown hair. Zelda was appalled. She pulled back her hand and it was soaking wet.

"WHAT THE--"

Eunice took advantage of Zelda's lack of attention, and picked her up and threw her down the stairs. She dramatically tumbled down each step. Eunice took note of what Zelda was wearing. She was wearing tight brown skinniez that hugged her curvy thighs. She was also wearing a simple white tee, with a tight brown vest that accentuated her small waist. But most dramatic of all, she was wearing 10 inch brown stillettos that clattered as she fell.

Eunice was wearing a long football jersey with panties.

"YOU BITCH!" Zelda screamed, as blood splattered from a fresh flesh wound to her simple white tee. Eunice jumped on top of her, and Zelda grabbed her. They rolled down the stairs together. They ended up near a railing, and Beyonce tried to shove Eunice off the railing. Then Eunice rounded with her brute force and was on the other side, trying to shove Zelda off the railing. They continued like this for like 10 minutes, until Eunice slipped and they both tumbled down the remaining stairs. Eunice screamed as Zeldad punched her in the face, drawing blood through Eunice's mouth. Eunice was mad.

"NOW I'M MAD!!" Eunice grabbed Zelda's poofy curly brown hair and smashed her head against a wall 3 times. But Zelda had a trick up her sleeve. She lived through the pain.

Then she ran away screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Zelda was a great actress. She ran up the stairs, arms flailing and sweat spewing. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

Eunice bought every second of it. "HAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHHAHA!" Eunice followed in hot pursuit, right on Zelda's heels. She ran harder than she'd ever ran before. Zelda ran to the attic, screaming for the sake of her plan, running like a nerd. Eunice was losing breath, but by then Zelda had stopped. She was standing on a loose floorboard, something that could never hold Eunice's weight. Zelda wuz ah daintii x doll, so the floor didn't even creak under her pixie-like frame.

"Come on, come and get it!" Eunice stupidly did what Zelda invited her to do. She bounded over to where Zelda stood, and the floor gave out under her. Zelda jumped out of the way in the nick of time.

"OOOOUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" wailed Eunice. "OOOOOOUUUGAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" She grabbed for anything to hold on to. Eunice dangled over a crowd of TEAM EDWARDs standing in the lower lobby, but she was wearing her new pair of TEAM JACOB underwear. They all looked up, and instantly turned into wild animals. They struggled to jump at Eunice. Some tried to bite her. Their nails skimmed the bottom of Eunice's foot.

"THIS IS WHAT YOU GET YOU CRAZY BITCH!!" Zelda kneeled down and smiled as she suggestively placed her hand near Eunice's in a prying motion.

"NO! No, Zelda! PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!!!!!!! PLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZELDA!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO DON'T!! I'M GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"

The thought whipped through Zelda's mind, and a fresh wave of hate toward Eunice rippled through her very core.

She smiled at Eunice.

"Goodbye." Zelda pried Eunice's porky little sausages from the wooden floor. Eunice started thrashing uncontrollably.

"N-NO! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Zelda plucked away Eunice's last finger, and she fell to the TEAM EDWARDs, just like Jafar killing Mustafa.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYGHAAAAAAAAAAAAUUAAHHHHHHHHRRRH!!" Eunice wailed, as she fell to certain death.

Zelda's smile widened.

The TEAM EDWARDs parted as Eunice's wide bod went crashing down and landed smack in the middle of a big glass table. The glass shattered in slow motion, spraying over the TEAM EDWARDs like water. Eunice's dead body lay atop the shattered table frame. The room was silent, with every single TEAM EDWARD staring in shock. Zelda stared at the dead body in pride.

Then its eyes snapped open.

Then a chandelier came crashing from above and killed her _for good. _

The TEAM EDWARDs swarmed her for a couple of seconds, then ran away.

Zelda stared at the scene from above. Now she had a whole room to _herself._

Zelda walked out of the Girls' Dorm with an accomplished smirk on her face.

* * *

U like? review plzz!!!!!!12


	6. Time Goez By Fast

**_Autaz note: Thanx 4 reviewing! Dedicetid to ALL reviewers, u rok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

Chapter Sixxx: Two Months Later, Time GOes By Fast...

* * *

**_~Two Months Later~_**

It had been two months since the incident involving Eunice, and Zelda's life had really gone uphill. Her & Marth had really made their place in the school, deeming themselves as the two most popular students at Bullworth.

Indeed, Mrth & Z were the happiest they could ever be. Zelda was still going steady with Bif Taylor, da boxing champ o' Bullworth, while Marth remained a single gal. However, he was great pals with all of the clique leaders, especially Derby, and even Jimmy!

Anyways, it was a lovely autumn day in the town of Bullworth. As Zelda and Bif walked, they could sense that winter was just around dii corner. But, that was besides the point. Both of dem were perfectly content jhust being wit each other(L). They strolled through the Vale, hands intertwined romantickly. The cupple were on their way to to meet up wit Darby & Marth.

Zelda smiled to herself, completely disregarding whatever Bif was babbling about at her left. She was too caught up in her thoughts to even care about what her boyfriend of two months had to say. Its not like they were married, or anything...

Anyways, Zelda was proud of herself. Very proud, in fact. Her and Marth had concurid the whole school, and so soon too! She knew she'd be popular, but she never imagined it to be this quick! _I'm totes awesome, _she thought to herself with an accomplished smirk, just as Bif noticed that she wasn't listening to what he was talking about.

"Zelda?" Barf asked, eyebrows furrowed. She was taken out of her reverie, and her head snapped to attention.

"Yes?"

He raised a purfect eyebrow, annoyed wit his gf. "You weren't listening, were you?"

"Uhm, yeah, I was." She lied. Bif didn't buy it.

"No you weren't," He said indefiatly.

"Yes, I was."

"No you weren't! You neva listen."

Z stopped and let go of hiz hand. She faced him with an irked expression worn on her hawt face. "Don't accuse me, Bif. I could have you unpopular in seconds."

Bif gaped a little. "You'd do that to your own bf?"

"Well, what if we weren't dating anymore?"

He grew apalled. "Wh... What are you saying?"

Z thought for a moment. Bif was the greatest boyfriend she'd ever had... Well, except for that one guy... BUT thats not what this is about. Zelda didn't want to break up wit Rob. Not yet. "I'm sorry." She apologized. "I didn't meant to be a jurk... Forgive mii?"

Bif didn't even need to think about it. Zelda was just too good to gyve up. So, he responded bai takin her hand in his, and they went on thur merry way, and Zelda continued to not listen.

Yes, it was true. Zelda was the SINGLE most popular girl in the whole of Bullworth. She was even cooler than Mandy, the head cheerleader!.xox.

Of course, there is always one person who will not like you.

And for Zelda, that one person was Gord.

Ever since Eunice had apparently 'died', the poor, unfortunate Gord had been plotting all on his lonesome. Revenge, revenge, revenge... It was all he could think about. But how? How could he do it? How could he destroy the very person who had destroyed him?

Well, Gord didn't have much. But, he did have his wit. And he very well did have his poise... And of course, most importantly, he had his **money...**

-

Zelda and Bif arrived at Aquaberry, where Derby and Mrth could be seen eating cones of cookies & cream ice cream. Marth was wearing a yellow thing from Garage, with a pair of grey garage sweatpants and pink&black DC shoez from winners. He also wore a supar tyt ponii tail, but it didnt really work with his short blue lox. Derby was sporting a nice blue tee that read HOLLISTER up the side, and a nice white thing from garage, that had little silver jewels on it and had short sleves. The most noticable part of the garment was how it tied around the breasts. On the bottom, he was strutting his stuff and looking hawt in a nice pair of bellbottoms from bluenotes. His shoes were fashionable converse knockoffs from payless, the popular Airwalk brand.

Zelda approached, wearing a lovely ensamble that consisted of a baggy black muscle shirt, tucked into her matching black knee high shorts. On her feet, she was wearing a kewt pair of men's sandles. Bif was sporting a nice black tshirt, with a kinda baggy grey sweater zipped up to just above his chest. His jeans were straight leg and baggy, but really complimented his figuar. He also had a black cap, backwards because he's cool. And his hair was swept to the side. He had a noice pair o' high heeled hooker boots on.

Derby was excited to see them.

"HEY! Where've you been? We've got soo much to talk about for the partyyyyyyy1!!!!!!!"

"Party?" Zelda hadn't heard about any party.

"Uh, Zelda? I invited you 3 days ago, my love." Bif told her.

Zelda's heart leapt. **_HE _**had told her the same thing. But that was years ago... Zelda needed to pull herself together. She was with Bif now.

"Oh! Sorry, Bill." Zelda waved the problem away with a flick of her hand.

"Ohh...kay." Marth added, as he didn't want to be excluded from the convo. "So what time is it, Derby?"

"It's at Harrington House tonight from 8 til whenever!!!!!!!!! It's gonna be sooooo awesome. I need this party to be the _best _partay Harrington House has ever had!!" Derby didn't know why, but he had a feeling that THIS party needed to be da bomb. It needed to be off da _CHAIN._ It needed to be the _HIPPEST, HOTTEST, BIGGEST, MOST BAD ASS _party in the history of Harrington House!! He had this feeling...that someone _special _was going to show up.

Derby was looking into space with a look of dreamy adoration.

"I need party supplies. Neon Lights. Music systems. The Jonas Brothers. A D.J. Boodle Bags. Marth. Go."

Marth scurried away with a list that he had written while Derby was talking. He was such a trusty friend.

"I'M going to get the _JONAS BROTHERS _at my party. MINE. My Sweet 17 is going to be AMAZING!"

"Uh, didn't you have a Sweet 17 like 3 years ago??" Bif inquired.

"NO, that was my Sweet 15, you asshole." Derby snapped. "I've had a sweet insert age here _every fucking year of my life._ Do you not know me at all? I thought you were my second in command!" Derbz walked up to Bif and shoved him. "You _know _I get snappy when I'm excited, so why are you trying to _kill_ my buzz?! I'm sooo psyched 4 my party. You couldn't even bring me down if you tried! I. WILL. FIND. YOU. AND. I. WILL. KILL. YOU! AND I WILL EAT YOUR FIRST BORN CHILD!" With that Derby ran away, before turning to shout "See u 8 uu sexci beotchiz! Luv u!" over his shoulder.

* * *

Bif and Zelda scanned the racks in Aquaberry.

"Ohh my _god. _I see _nothing _to wear..."

"What are you _talking _about? We're in _Aquaberry._"

"Kaaaaaaaaay...No one's here. _Peeace._"

Zelda turned to leave. Bif grabbed her by the wrist and abruptly turned her around to face him.

"Are you _insinuating _that you _don't _see anything to wear at _AQUABERRY?!"_

_"Je'mappelleee Zeldaaaaw."_

"What?"

"Oh sry, I--" _wasn't listening_. "I just don't see anything."

"WHAT?" Bif repeated, "We're going to the HOTTEST party of the year. You can't just wear any of your old _rags_ to _this _social event."

"Any of my old _what?_"

"Zelda, I didn't mean that. But you can't just wear any old _dress._"

But Zelda was PO'ed to da maxxxxx.

"Have you forgotten that _that fat cow _ruined all my clothes?"

Bif _had _forgotten. He hadn't seen Eunice in 2 months.

"What happened to Eunice, anyway?"

"_NOTHING!"_ Zelda raged. "That_ FAT WHORE _killed him_SELF!"_

_"Okaaaay!_ Okay, sorry!" Why was Zeldad so defensive?

"Bif. Just... just leave me alone! Pick me up at 8." Zelda ran out of Aquaberry screaming and crying. Bif picked out a nice dress for her, and paid the cashier.

---

Bif arrived right on cue, as always. Z felt bad for being low to him, but he brought up a touchy subject. How could he do this? It was so...low of him.

"Zelda?" Bif freely walked up the stairs in the Girls Dorm, because that crazy bitch Ms. Peabody wasn't patrolling at the moment.

"Hey, Bif. Look, sorry about earlier toda--" He cut her off with a swift kiss 2 deh mouth.

"I hope this will make up for it." Bif pulled out an expensive looking Aquaberry dress. Zelda hadn't seen this dress in the store. She gasped.

"OH BART!" She exclaimed, "THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!"

And then dey got da fun on.

---

A/N: HEY! hope you licked our new chaaaaaap! 3 ilu. Review plz! Bully means alot to us, but we don't get enough reviewers!! Our story is always reviewed by people though..........in our hearts! 3


	7. De Ja Vu

**authaz note: **hei guyz, thanks for da reviews! btw, in tha last chap, the guys ikn gurls clothes was a joke :P:P. Just so ya kno! And sorry for all Z's violence!

Chapta seven: DE JA VU

-----------------------------------

This wasn't Zelda's first time gettin' it on. I'll have you know that she'd done it once or twice before, with... **him. **But, this time could have been just as sweit.

After Bif and Z got gone laying in each othas arms3, they quickly got ready for the party. It wasn't long before she was sporting the beaut of a dress that HER Bif had got her. Zelda was beginning to think that she may love Bif... But not as much as she loved... **him**. BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW.

The point was that **he **was gone, and she was with Bif now. And he luved her, so that was all she needed... Right?

-----------------------------------xox-----------------------------------------

The party really was amazing.

Just as Derby had imagined it, actually. The lights were set up, the streamers were gorhgeous, the boodle bags put together and set up near the door, and the Jonas Brothers really were there playing. Zelda and Bif went on in, holdin hands and bein happy. Especially after their romantic episode, they were no longer fighting.

The party was a blast. It was even better than the first party Zelda had been to here. Of course, Zelda had serious deja vu, because alot of the same stuff went on. There were even more people here than last time. _Everyone, **everyone** _was there. Last party, everyone who was anyone was there, but now, it didn't even matter who you were. _Earnest _was there. _Everyone in BULLWORTH _was there. Derby didn't even care -- people just came and left as they pleased. Even the cops were getting C-R-U-N-K and hookin' up and just bein' kidz! It was AAHH-MAZING!

Then the whole party was ruined just like last time! SERIOUS DEJA VU! OKO _burst _threw the door!!!

So the whole party migrated upstairs!!!

And they had a buh-**_LAST_**!!!!!!!!!!

People were getting totes drunkk! And peepz were doin drugz on the dashboard look the mess we made 2 nyt! People wur carelessli hooking up. But Z didn't need any of that. She had Bif.

Beatrice and Damon were gettin' da fun on wich was really weird cause she's an ugly loser.

So, naturally, a drunken Z approached.

She snatched Beatrice away from Damon and towed her over to the middle of the dance floor. The crowd circled and stepped back.

Zelda slapped her across the face. She grabbed a crowbar from the floor and hit her. Blood was drawn. The crowd loved it. Zelda continued to beat Beatrice.

"You craaaaaaazy whore!" Z squealed. "You don't _deserve_ to get da fun on with _anyone!_" Zelda dropped the crowbar and bellowed at a slave.

"SLAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!" a slave came running. "What _took _you so long?!?!"

"I only too 2 secon-"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP _SHUT UP_!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE A STUPID, POOR, UGLY _SLAVE!!" _Zelda picked up the crowbar again, and rapped the slave in the legs. They were swept out from underneath him, and he landed face first on the dance floor.

"WHLAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"I. TOLD. YOU. TO. SHUT. UP!!!!" Zelda hit the slave again, and he passed out.

Then she turned to Beatrice, who was writhing in agony on the floor in her panties. She threw the crowbar at her.

"Pick it up." Beatrice reached for the crowbar with trembling hands.

"What are you doing?!?!? WHY ARE YOU PICKING IT UP?! ARE YOU TRYING TO _THREATEN _ME?!?!?!"

Beatrice stared.

Zelda snatched the crowbar back.

"I. WILL. KILL. YOU!!!!! AND I WILL EAT YOUR FIRST BO-"

Just then the door to Harrington House opened.

"What are you guys looking at?" Zelda shoved her way through the crowd. Her vision was blurred and her hearing was muffled, but she could still feel the pressure of the eerily depressing silence.

"WHO IS _THAT!?" _Zelda cried, her breath taken.

A girl with long flowing bouncy bonde curlz and babi blue eyes walked in2 the party. She had a high, feminine voice and she was gorgeous.

Maybe even more gorgeous than Z!!!!!!!!!!!

CLIFFFFFFFFFFFY!


	8. that gurl

chap 8: that gurl

The mysterious beauty entered the room, all eyes on her.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" Zelda walked up to her.

""Hi Zelda." The girl said in her melodic voice. She crossed her arms infront of her and stared at Z. It didn't alarm Zelda that the girl knew who she was -- EVERYONE knew who she was. The girl was wearing some tres chic TNA tankz wit lulus and a pair of converse knockoffs from Aquaberry. But she still looked hott!

"Um...hi.? Who r uu?!" Zelda stared at the girl. Could she possibly be...prettier than _Zelda!?!_

The gal stared back at Z and laughed hard. Then she walked away.

All eyes were on her--including Bif's!!!!!!

"W-w-...." Zelda was in shock as the gal walked through the parting crowd. She had a beautiful figuar.

Zelda stood there for a couple minutes, then followed in hot pursuit. She glared at Bif, who stared at da gorge babe with his jaw hangin' open. Z stopped and stood directly in front of him, but he didnt even see her there! So she smacked him in the arm.

Bif snapped to attention. "What?" He asked, clueless. "Oh, Zelda... Its you."

"Yes its ME!" Z said with sass. She placed her hondz on her hyps. "Bif how could you stare at that mystery gurl! I kno shes gorgeous but she CANT be prettier moi! She isn't!"

"Y-Yeah." He agreed. "She isn;t... Prettier than you. No one is." He sounded uncertain, but Z bought it. She smiled and latched onto Bif's

Zelda dragged him with her while she looked for the girl. She looked everywhere! The only other place was the balcony, so Zelda and Bif went out there.

AND THERE SHE WAS!!

"OKAY lyk who do u tink u rrr?!" Zelda was totez bitchin' at the gal. The gal cocked an eyebrow at Zelda, and smiled.

"U don't know?!"

"NO! Dhatz y I askedd u!" Zelda talked like she was on msn.

"Zelda," Bif interuppted. "Calm down."

"Zelda.....how's life been without a roomate?!" tHE GAL LAUGHED

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT!? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT!"

"BECAUSE!!" the gal screeched, "BECAUSE I'M EUNICE!!"

"W....whaaaaaaaaatt...?" Zelda was scared. Then she got over it. "But I KILLED you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"You what?!" Bif ripped himself away from Zelda.

"Bif hun...obv I didn't finish the deed...she's still here......." Then Z's attention wavered to Eunice. "HOW ARE YOU STILL HERE? WHY DO YOU LOOK SO HOT!?"

Eunice threw her head back and a wild cackle escaped from her feminine mouth.

"You left me there in the Girls Dorm, but I wasn't done livin' yet! I managed to lift my heavy bod onto my thick legs and start walking. I trudged through the streets all bleeding and mangled til I reached the hospital. I was in critical condition!!! They decided that the only way to remove all the glass from my bones was to completely suck out all the fat. Then they looked at my face and gave me plastic surgery!"

"YOU FA-" Zelda was about to call her a fat bitch. Then realized Eunice was now thinner than her. Tears of shame rippled down Zelda's cheeks.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!" Zelda charged at Eunice and gabbed her by the stomach. She threw her into the wall of the balcony, and 6 decorative plants went smashing to the floor below.

"Ow!" Eunice screamed, "What the fuck!!!"

This was very much like the scene in the Girls Dorm.

Zelda grabbed Eunice by the hair and banged it on the cement of the balcony. Rage drived her on and she dangled Eunice over the edge.

"I. WILL. KILL. _YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Eunice was shreiking from the pain.

"ZELDA!" Bif scooped Eunice into his arms and glared at Zelda. "This has to stop!"

"BIF!" Zelda screamed. "WHAT ARE YOU_ SAYING?!_"

"I'm saying that we're totez OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"...Wha...t...." The world ripped out from underneath Zelda.

"We're through. See you around." He turned around in slow motion, creating extra dramatic effect. Z felt tears sting hur baby bluu eys. As Bif turned to leave, Zelda felt herself breakin free!! but not rly in a good way/\

"STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed at the top o' her lungs. She rancfed aftar him and hugged hum from behind, like in that one episode of... One Tree Hill?

Eunice watched this with a glint o' mischeif in her eyez. She smirked slyly as all the drams whent down.

"Bif, ilu! Why are you ditchin' me?" Z seid, tearz in her eyesz.

Bif turned artound to face her! "Z you are too violent! You just tried to destroy this..." He faced Eunice. "Gorgeous model of a WOMAN!"

She gasped! And Eunice smiled. "bif... is this tru?" Z asked.

"Yes." He said. "Goodbye, Zelda."

And wit dat, he was gone.

Eunice smiled curtly at Zelda as she passed, following close behind Z's EX boyfriend.

Zelda could only fear that they may get da fun on.

-xoxox-oxoxox-xo-xo-oox0-

Marth had left the party an hour after it started. He was not having fun, so he went and watched Pars Hilton's My New Bff. He then decided to check out the new store that was put up in the Vale. It was a pet shop run by Tad's father. It waz called Pet Foh Yoh Set.

Mrth entered the store, and saw many pets! There were birds, cats, dawgs, cows, ardvarks, ect. He decided that he would browse for a while. And hey, who knows? Maybe he'd find a new bff of his own!

He looked around, but saw no animazl he really liked. Untill, however, he went across the dog section...

And he fell in luv.

There was a faiirly small, white and black spotted french bulldog. Its wrinkles were so perfectly crafted into his sagging skin, and its smell was so incredablii terrible, that any normal human would want to puke. And its eyes were so large and far apart, its natural expression looked clueless and lost. Above its pig nose, was a very large nose wrinkle, that had a little chicken bone crammed under it, and there was droll dripping from its flaps.

Marth stared intently at the beast, before his mind was made up.

"I shall name you Wrinklez."


	9. Beef

Z woke up the next morn with a ragin hangover. She rolled out of bed and accidently fell on the floor. She was pissed off about her and Bif's previous breakup... But it couldn't be perminant... RIGHT?

Zelda took out her anger on Beatrice after home ec.

"You filthy skank!" Zelda shrieked, clawing at Beatrice.

"Z--Z PLEASE...PLEASE...Z...STOP!"

"BEE YOU LITTLE SHITHEAD!" Zelda proceeded to rock back and forth on her heals and to huff and puff in a defensive position, egging Beatrice on. Beatrice put her hands in her pockets and stood there. Then Zelda`s leg wipped out and popped Beatrice in the face. Beatrice ran away screaming.

Zelda took a swig of Jack`s and started brushing her teeth with it. She then proceeded to math class, semi crunk.

She walked into the class, and her math teacher, Leo, got pissed off at her for being late.

"ZELDA!" Leo screamed.

Zelda sighed and walked to her desk.

"WHY ARE YOU LATE?!??!?!??!?!?" Leo's face went extremely red and his breathing became shallow.

"I..I'm sorry."

"DONT DO IT AGAIN."

Zelda sighed, but she knew she would be Leo's prime target to pick on for the next month.

Leo walked up to the board and said "In your notebooks!" He proceeded to write a note on the board for the class to copy down. He wrote down a elimination question to determine the POI of 2 lines speedy quick. Zelda was in the middle of copying it down when--

"ZELDA!"

Z's head snapped up. She had a blank look on her face and her heart sunk.

"WHAT'S THE ANSWER?!?!??!?!"

"Um... I don't know what to do.."

"WHAT?!"

Zelda sighed.

"Um...you line up the 4 with the negative 4"

"Okay. WHAT NOW!?"

"Uh...you subract?"

Leo's face dropped.

"...what..." his face instantly flushed a bright red.

"Add?"

"YES!"

Leo went to the board and continued to embarrass Z.

"Okay, Z! What do you do now?"

"Um...-3?

"WHAT!?!! -3 MINUS 3 IS 0?!??!?!! ?!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!!?!?"

"Okay..um..6?"

"oh my god."

"Uh..um...ah...i .... I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!"

Then Leo yelled at Z and she almost cried of embarrassment.

Then she noticed Bif looking at her from across the room. She sent him a note that sed:

Hey. Meet me after class?

Bif sighed, but nodded.

---

Zeldad grabbed Bif by the shoulder as he attempted to stand Z up.

"Hey." She said compassionately. "What's going on between us."

"Fuck you." Bif replied. "I'm in love with Eunice now."

"Bif...I still love you."

"Why."

"Since you been gone...."

"I can breathe for the first time."

"I'm not movin' on. I thot I waz hot. I CAN'T breathe for the first time. But I'm not. I'm nothing without you. Please, Bif. You're like my own personal brand of heroin. Ima tell u one time, bif i love you."

He thought for a moment. A small flame of hope flickered in Z's heart.

"Z...just...fuck, it's over." Bif turned and left Z heartbroken.

---

JANUARY

---

FEBRUARY

---

MARCH

---

Zelda spent the past 3 months smokin' up and boozin'. She beat Beatrice so hard she sent her into a coma. That fat fuck Jimmy kept on hitting on her and rubbing her back and caressing her forhead, placing her in a very awkward position.

She went to talk to Leo about it.

"Yes, Zelda?" Leo peeked up from under his glasses as Z approached his desk. They squeezed at his temples and accentuated his round face.

"Um...Jimmy, is making me feel very uncomfortable..."

Leo put down his playboy magazine and laughed.

"Fuck off, Zelda! Deal with it you fat bitch!" Leo then proceeded to chuck pieces of chalk at Z until she ran away from the room, screaming. The techers at this school were out of control.

These past munths Z was hartbrokinnn. She neglected Mrth and his new dog Wrinkles and there was a lot of beef goin on.

_Two months ago_

_Zelda left her dorm room in a hurry. She was going to meet that fat pig Jimmy to pickup some weed. She ran into Marth, who had not yet found out of Z`s new facination with missy mary jane._

_"Hey Z, where you off too?" He inquired._

_"Um, sorry Mrth I can't chat." She said, rushing past him. He grabbed her arm and stopped her._

_"Z, wait..."_

_"Marth I'm already late, I gotta jet."_

_"This can't wait."_

_Z sighed in defeat. "Alright fine. But be quick."_

_"Look, itz just, you've been acting really weird lately, you know? Ever since your breakup with Bif... Yu'v changed."_

_"Changed?" Z questioned, getting all defensive. "No I haven't, I'm perfectly fine..xo"_

_"No you ain't! Something's going on. Z I'm your best friend, tell me wasup."_

_"Well, the thing is... Mrth, I tried... Weed."_

_Marth's eyes widened in shock. "Is this tru?" He gaped in disbelief._

_"Y-Yes." Shi stammered.x_

_"Z I cant believe u! Its drugs, Z! U r a princess! You have responsibilities!!!"_

_"Marth... You're my friend, not my mom. So don't heat me out."_

_Z3lda turned on her heel and sped away._

AUTRAS NOTE!: thankxx for reviewing!! REVBIEW PLESAE!


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